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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27122623">Xylophonetic</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoelynfabulous/pseuds/phoelynfabulous'>phoelynfabulous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kirby (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Gen, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Trans Character, Trans Male Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:29:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>784</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27122623</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoelynfabulous/pseuds/phoelynfabulous</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bandana Dee helps a friend with an important decision.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bandana Waddle Dee &amp; Marx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Xylophonetic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Much shorter than I'd usually post but my friends loved it so ya'll can see it too.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I hate my parents,” was the first thing he said as he stomped over.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dandy looked over at him with a little shock, “They didn't disown you or something, did they?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No,” he began. Good, Dandy knew that they were pretty nice and genuine people, supposedly, so both of them had kinda been relying on their acceptance, “they're just really dumb.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How so?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looked over at Dan tiredly. To be fair, he was always tired, as an insomniac, but this was a different kind of tired.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They were like <em>ohh that explains sooo much, we love you no matter what, blah blah blah... </em>and then told me that I shouldn't change my name.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh. What?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>I know, right?! </em>I was like <em>what d'ya mean </em>and they went on to tell me that, because the name is super unique, they thought I should keep it because it's so <em>special.</em>”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dan recalled his old name. He hadn't decided on a new one yet, which could make things complicated when talking to or about him, but he didn't understand...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What's so special about the old name?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He glared at nothing in particular.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They like that there's a Y in it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“...and?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Seriously?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Seriously. </em>When I, of course, said <em>hell no, </em>they doubled down like <em>oh we really think you should keep it, it would be nice, or maybe your new name could have a Y in it! </em>They're great and all that sappy junk, but... <em>ugh.</em>”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dan was about to say something when his friend's phone blinged. He took it out, looked at it, and made a face of disgust.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He showed Dan the screen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A text from his mom, beginning with his deadname to address him, followed by a list of masculine names for him to choose from.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Almost every single one was incomprehensible or, of course, featured a Y.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Stars above...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He put his phone on silent and back in his pocket with a sigh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“...I'm guessing you're not gonna pick anything they suggest.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Absolutely not.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He flopped over backwards onto the soft grass with a sigh. Dandy followed him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There were a few moments of comfortable silence. Not common in his presence, unless he was planning something, in which case you should run or end up pranked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Finally, he broke the silence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“... I'm gonna name myself Xylophone.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dandy turned to Xylo with a snort, “You <em>what?</em>”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You heard me! Meet Xylophone, the most spiteful person in all of Dreamland.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Please explain your thought process.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ssssspite,” Xylo said with a smug grin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Elaborate on that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Very unique. Has a Y, and an X too! And it's pronounced like a Z so there's the most special parts of the alphabet right there, done. Plus it has a P-H so that's pretty neat! Flawless name choice by mom and dad's standards.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>During Xylo's explanation, Dan had been getting increasingly giggly until he could barely breathe by the end of it. He was just wheezing for a while while Xylo stood proudly at the success of his joke.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I thought-” he descended back into wheezing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You thought what?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I-I thought,” wheeze, “you were gonna say- say you were gonna name yourself <em>John-</em>”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xylo cackled, “Oh that's glorious, maybe I should-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait, nonono you don't understand,” Dan was barely able to get out, “I thought you were gonna name yourself Johnny, because th- there's a Y-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If Johnny had been cackling before then he was practically shrieking now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The two of them were left laughing hysterically for the next few minutes before they recovered.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They'd moved on to another topic before it was brought up again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What if you literally did that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did what?” Johnny asked, one eyebrow raised.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What if you named yourself like, I dunno... James... but it was spelled J-A-Y-M-E-S?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jaymes wheezed, “Oh I'm <em>very </em>tempted, you gotta understand.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh no wait- add a Z instead of an S. Jaymez.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'd pronounce it like Ramirez!” he said, still giggling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Or maybe like, Brendon but the E is a Y.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That- doesn't even- that's not how language works-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bryndon was in a serious fit of laughter now. Happy that his jokes were well received, Dan kept going.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jacob but the J is a Z.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Zachary with an X instead of a Z.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Please- Dan, I'm dying, help-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Marcus, but like... with an X.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That did it. He did his best impression of a tea kettle and doubled over, unable to contain himself. Dan burst into laughter with him at the absurdity of it all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay okay, I'll stop-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No no, please-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Marx looked up at him with a smile, tears from laughing so hard in his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It's perfect.”</p>
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